WHERE ARE YOU?

Not everyone has problems adapting to new environments, for some it is a breeze. However, if you are struggling, this could describe your path towards finding a sense of belonging in a new place.

Let me introduce you to Prochaska & DiClemente’s 1983 Transtheorical Model of Change. Originally formulated to illustrate the sequence of behaviour change from addiction to recovery, TTM can also be used to describe how we cope with cultural changes, acclimatise to new customs and take on different ways of living; to a greater or lesser extent depending on a variety of factors.

Stage One is called Pre-contemplation. As the name suggest, you haven’t even thought about it yet. Things are happening to you and you have not really noticed the effect on you, your family or your work. You may be confused, on edge or stressed, but you haven’t quite taken in the causes. Although you may be aware that something is not quite right, you have not got to the place where you can identify what it is.

Stage Two is Contemplation. You are beginning to think about what is happening and asking yourself questions about causes. Is it your environment, is it your behaviour, is it your relationship or is it a language problem? You are also thinking about what it would be like if this were not happening and how things would be if you were feeling settled in your new home. Procrastination could be a feature of this stage.

Stage Three offers hope as you move into Preparation. This is when you start looking for resources and weighing up alternative solutions. It is now that you begin to embrace the idea that your life can be improved by making changes to your own behaviour. You begin to recognise the benefits of solving these problems and you have a desire to make something different happen and get yourself to a better place.

Stage Four is the Action Stage. It is here that my job as a coach is most rewarding. Creating a new life takes time and the process is similar to the Deming Cycle of Plan, Do, Check, Act. Having someone to support you, help with goal setting, acknowledge your efforts and keep you on track can make all the difference. This stage cannot be completed in the armchair or between the pages of a book. You will need to get out there, try new things, find new ways of looking at life and begin to really enjoy yourself.

Stage Five, Maintenance, involves patience, practice and perseverance. Anything worth achieving usual involves effort and investment. This phase continues until habits are formed and isolation is no longer an issue. As with addiction, a crisis could trigger a relapse into homesickness. By implementing supportive structures and rituals you can keep focus on the road ahead, strengthen your sense of belonging and purpose.

I would add a sixth stage to this model, Celebration. I will be celebrating my 15th anniversary in Australia next month, and will be sharing the day with a client who arrived on the same date two years ago. At this point we can put the past behind us, celebrate our achievements and look forward to the future.

A significant feature of this model is that it takes time to work through the stages. If you feel that settling down to your new life is taking longer than you anticipated, or you would like to have some support during the difficult stages, contact a coach. A free 60 minute coaching session may be only a phone call away.

Where are you now?